Today sucks.

I haven’t felt this bad in a long time.  And I’ve had my share of crappy days.  Nothing feels right.  I feel .. dejected.  I’m at an all-time low.  I feel like no one understands what I’m going through .. how I’m feeling.  People appear to care on the surface, but there’s not a single person who sincerely cares enough to really break down these walls.  There is no one who will take the time to listen to me vent about my life without making their own problems seem worse.  There is no one who just .. gets it.  But I can’t blame anyone for feeling the way I do.  Maybe it’s my own fault for building the walls so high that I don’t give anyone a chance to knock them down.  Or maybe it’s something else?

Sigh.  Deep breaths.

I’m really stressed out about a lot of things.  It’s getting very difficult just to make ends meet.  I don’t know how to fix a broken friendship and it’s killing me.  Everything I do or say just seems to make it worse.  My intentions always seem to get tangled up and misunderstood along the way.  I just want everything to be normal between us, but it’s proving to be a challenge more and more each day.  But I know it’s worth the fight so I’m gonna keep trying.  I just need to be patient.